construction vehicle demonstrations with music like this make me feel an emotion that hasn’t been invented yet
8/3 Today we picked the white apples. They have skins the color of old yellowed bones, and translucent flesh so that when you slice them open you can see the seeds through the flesh. Bone-and-glass apples, parchment apples, ghost apples.
They bruise easily, a purplish brown rather too similar to a bruise on human skin. If you pick one up, there’s a good chance the shapes of your fingertips will be marked on it the next day. I want to try writing words on them by pressing on them with a pencil eraser sometime.
They smell very faintly of perfume, maybe roses. They do not smell like apples. Apple maggots never infest them (probably because their growing time is too short to support the apple maggot fly life cycle. It’ll be another month or two before the rest of our apples are ripe).
They’re lovely. They are also disgusting. Mealy and soft, with no flavor whatsoever. They’re not sweet. They’re not even sour. It’s like a mouth full of wet cotton ball. I’m pretty sure I spit it out the first time I tried one.
I hope you all understand how weird this is: even the goats are reluctant to eat them. They’ll eat an apple or two, but then they lose interest (except in keeping the sheep from eating any, of course).
I have no idea why a previous resident planted the ghost-apple tree. If they have any flavor at all, only the restless dead can taste it.
I have to say, I’ve seen, researched, and planted a lot of apples in my time, but I have never seen anything like this.
My best guess is that your tree is a chance seedling with a genetic mutation, given that it is both leucistic/albinoid and early-ripening. I’d hazard a guess it’s also polyploid.
lazyevaluationranch: If you’re able to save some scion wood next Autumn, I’d be very interested in grafting a branch or two of this to one of my trees: not for the utility of it, so much as for the novelty and breeding possibilities.
A little added info: It could be a variety of Potter County White Transparent. From the heritage apple site:
White Transparent, Ghost or Spirit Apple, or Apples of Saint Peter. The Russian Petrovka group are all thin-skinned pale apples that ripen near the feast of Saint Peter, and are offered to Widows and orphans (first fruits) or to the graves of the recent dead of the winter, representing God’s Mercy after trial. Apple associated with Baba Yaga, and with foretelling the past or the future. This Transparent is from Coudersport, Pennsylvania, likely brought as seed with Russian immigrants.
So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol turns green, “explodes” and then disappears.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG
HOLY SHIT
Poems by Misha Collins Appreciation Post
STORY:
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.
I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’
Manager: ‘No. A what?’
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’
He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.
Do you have anything else?’
Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why?
Server: ‘I don’t know.’
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’
Server: ‘Yeah.’
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’
He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’
Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’
Server: ‘What should I do?’
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back.
The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’
Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’
Me: ‘Why not?’
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’
Me: ‘Excuse me?’
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’
Me: ‘What on earth for?’
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’
Me: ‘No.’
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.
A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’
Guard: ‘Yeah.’
Security Guard walks over to me and……
Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’
Me: ‘Uh, no.’
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’
Me: ‘Why?’
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’
At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,
Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’
The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.My dad works at a bank and he carries two dollar bills in his wallet to circulate them. Some people think they’re fake when he uses them. But they’re real, guys. They’re not a legend.