Anonymous said: How do you know that Jensen’s father stifles who his son wants to be? (Body cues from Jensen, something he said?) I find the parallels with him and DeAn interesting.

okay, here are my thoughts on the matter. these are opinions/interpretations only. no offence is meant to anyone.

• Jensen is a closeted bi-romantic bisexual
• during seasons 1-3 of SPN, Jensen had a crush on Jared (seen in the way Dean looks at Sam in those first seasons, and that one time Jared joked “Jensen’s got a big ol’ crush on me” and Jensen was like “I’ve learned to hide the beans from [Jared] at lunch”).
• now Jensen and Jared are platonic best-bros but Jared will occasionally tease Jensen about how he crushed on him before (Jared knows about Jensen’s sexuality which is why he’s so careful… most of the time)
  
• Jensen is like Dean in that he forms close emotional bonds with other men (possibly stemming from internalised misogyny in which women are more like sexual playthings or romantic trophies rather than friends) (Danneel was different for Jensen which is why he married her)
• obviously having close emotional bonds doesn’t mean someone’s bisexual
• but then Misha happened
• over seasons 4-10 of SPN, Jensen fell head-over-heels in love with Misha, starting with that first meeting while filming 4x01 (I’d call it love at first sight but it was more like “wtf at first sight”, and then it took years before Jensen got what Misha was about and began to appreciate his Misha-ness)
• I think Misha is quite possibly the first guy Jensen’s fallen in love with
  
• I think there were guy-crushes beforehand, maybe some experimentation in his late teens when he first moved to L.A. and was thrown into the acting industry, away from his parents for the first time, but I don’t think he ever allowed any attraction to men to develop beyond a close friendship.
• we don’t exactly see Jensen flirt with other guys, but from what I have seen personally, Jensen has looked at at least two men in a way that comes across as horrendously sexual/romantic: Jared in seasons 1-3, and Misha after then.
• Jensen cannot be open about his sexuality because a) he has a career to protect and being openly anything but straight could be a surefire way to kill his career as far as Jensen is concerned, b) his upbringing in a Christian Texan household, c) his father
• don’t even get me started on Jensen’s father
• seriously, the thing about straws (this photo was released, then later Jensen said this)
• Jensen’s father is his hero in so many ways (think Dean + John, minus the childhood abandonment). what Daddy says is law.
• Jensen’s father is homophobic (even if Jensen isn’t)
• Jensen cannot do anything or say anything at a convention that would get back to his family (his mother watches con videos) so he is always reigned in, he’s always keeping up appearances
• Jensen acts completely different around Jared as he does around Misha
  
• his natural body language is flamboyant - and need I say it, kinda feminine? but he tamps down on that so fucking hard. I feel so bad for the poor pup
• if he’s tamping down on that, what else is he trying to hide that comes completely naturally to him and has implications of stereotypical queerness?
• (I can’t find it, but there was one video where a lady mentions that she was in Jensen’s trailer and was surprised that his natural voice is so much higher and his body language is a lot less ~manly~ than it is on screen and in interviews)
• when the cameras aren’t on Jensen, he flirts with Misha. flirt level 3000. he does and says things too obscene for him to repeat to anyone else. apparently acting as straight as possible isn’t something that matters to him when he’s sure nobody outside of the SPN cast and crew are going to see it. that crew is like family to him, so if he goes a little too far, he knows they’ve got his back and they won’t go telling that story and outing him to the whole world.
• but if he does that whole flirt-with-Misha-at-full-throttle thing in front of people (and he’s a shy person), what does he do when nobody’s looking at him and Misha? how does he act when they’re alone??
• okay, so maybe none of this is actual evidence, but if you go into observing Jensen wearing your Jensen-is-a-closeted-bisexual goggles, so many things he does make sense. he does as much “I’M STRAIGHT. I’M STRAIGHT. I’M STRAIGHT” as Dean does, if not more, since Dean is following a script but Jensen has to constantly prove himself to an audience which includes his parents
• Wincest and Destiel basically both started because Jensen has a pretty face and he uses it to flirt even when he doesn’t realise
  
• he’s such a good actor; he knows when something is deemed as flirtatious but then he does it without realising
• he does it a lot actually
• Jensen is bisexual and nobody can convince me otherwise