here's a cursed concept for you: jadzia looking over julian's shoulder the day he meets garak is like "julian why have you been searching for images of 'Cardassian Feet'?" and julian's all "Uhhh... medical reasons."
Signal boost the h e c c out of this. I always forget the differences and its occurring to me that ive been having an anxiety attack for about a week now
yeah, and please don’t use the words “panic attack” as a casual descriptor for something that only mildly stresses you out… panic disorder is legitimately disabling. I require a service dog and accommodations, and there are certain tasks I can never perform because of it. I’ve been hospitalized multiple times for mistaking a panic attack for a heart attack. When it hits you that badly, you literally cannot tell the difference.
do you want a soft & sweet G-rated Dean/Cas wing kink fic, or one with explicit smut? please vote on this google form so I know, because I wanna start writing tomorrow~
spn reaction post is all done but tumblr won’t let me post or save as draft and idk what to do about it. i have it pasted in an email for backup but still. dunno how long it’s gonna take to get this thing up jsfjd >:(
umh, im all about bi!dean but goddammit i cringe everytime he is with a woman
maybe its because he already has a boyfriend
It never used to bother me.
Because early seasons Dean was fine as fuck (still is) and knew it and liked flirting. He wasn’t committed to anyone, and he lived no-strings because of his background and his hunter gig.
But earlier Dean hooking up, say…..prior to season 7, didn’t bother me because it fit his character and his journey at the time. He’s a bi man. (probably a repressed bi man but still). Dean having random hook ups and being a flirty flirt was exactly where his character was at the time.
But….
But, when Cas died at the beginning of season 7 and Dean mourned for him. Dreamed about him. Was continually drunk to forget him……..Things changed for his character. He had fallen in love with Cas, even though he might not have realised it.
When Dean found Cas as Emmanuel and looked at him like this.
This is “omg, my heart died after you did and I didn’t know what to do with it. Or what it meant. But here you are, and you don’t remember me and I can’t breathe.”
Dean had kept Cas’s coat in the trunk of the Impala. He gave it back to him and had forgiven all the bullshit that had happened prior to Cas’s death.
Then they made up at the end of season 7 and got blasted to purgatory together. Where Dean refused to leave without him, searched for him for a friggin YEAR. Finally found him and smiled wide and clutched at him like his heart had been restored.
Mr no hugs Dean Winchester, smiled at his friend like this and clutched at him.
Originally from veryawkwardantisocialperson.tumblr
I could go on and on.
Dean being so devastated at Cas refusing to leave purgatory that he changed his friggin memory of it and blamed himself. Seeing Cas everywhere, the memories tormenting him, dreaming of him.
There is so much that shows that Dean is now in love with Cas, maybe he hadn’t realised it or doesn’t want to acknowledge it. But it’s there. In all the signs. In everything we’ve seen.
So when people(destiel fans on the bi!dean train) get annoyed at Dean hooking up with random females now, its not because we think he’s gay. Dean is still bi.
Its just frustrating because it’s clear that he is in love with Cas and it feels wrong now for him to hook up with randoms.
somebody finally put into words how I feel about Dean hooking up with random women after season 7 versus Dean hooking up with random women before season 7
dean who’s just come out confessing to his best friend/roommate cas that he’s worried about dating guys because “it’s the same but it’s different, y’know? like the kissing and the date part i’m sure are about the same, but like… giving head’s a lot different, and that’s not even getting into sex.”
and cas casually offers to help him practice. cas, the fool, who completely thinks this is a friendly offer on his part and that there are no feelings involved. and dean, also a fool, thinks the same.
spoiler: there are feelings involved, or at least there will be.
cas doesn’t want to make things awkward (or rather, more awkward than necessary… he’s pretty sure it’ll be at least a little awkward for a couple days). as soon as he wakes up, he holds his breath to gauge how asleep dean is. once he thinks it’s safe, he carefully extracts himself from his best friend’s embrace and sneaks out of the room.
of course the moment he moves, dean wakes up, but he can’t bear to say anything, because that would mean hearing from cas why he felt he had to sneak away… so yeah, dean pretends to be asleep.
things actually aren’t too bad once they actually brave leaving their rooms. yeah, they don’t talk about… y’know… but they’re too good of friends not to recover from this. so they had really good sex that kinda derailed into a gentle make-out session and fell asleep in each other’s arms, so what? could happen to anyone.
as if they need to prove they’re good, they eagerly accept charlie’s invitation to a bar. dean loudly proclaims that he’s ready for a real hook up and cas quietly admits that he probably should seek out a one night stand of his own.
because clearly this thing with dean is going nowhere and he should nip any inconvenient feelings in the bud, right?
right.
dean dances with any even remotely pretty girl or attractive guy that looks his way. cas is pretty sure he dances with half the bar, and despite his intention of doing the same, cas can’t quite find the motivation. his heart’s just not in it, and he barely can bring himself to dance with charlie when she asks.
after a while, cas forces himself to stop watching dean. sure, he has a better idea why it pains him to see dean in the arms of others, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to-
his musings are interrupted by the loud clattering of two beer bottles being placed on the table in front of him.
“mind if i buy you a drink?” dean asks. cas is momentarily stunned. he knows that smile, that flirty tone, but he’s never had it directed at him before.
not quite able to speak, he silently accepts one of the beers and chugs half of it in the hopes that it’ll clear his mind. it doesn’t, but oh well.
“so, i was thinking,” dean says slowly, looking at the table except when his eyes flash up through his lashes to cas. “you’ve been a lot of help. a great teacher, best i ever had.”
don’t remind me, cas thinks remorsefully. he can’t quite stomach imagining dean putting his “new skills” to the test with other men. “you’re welcome,” is what he manages to say out loud. somehow.
dean smiles, but some of that flirtiness is gone. there’s something nervous underneath the surface, and now cas is starting to get worried.
“so, like i said,” dean continues, his hand absentmindedly peeling the label of his beer bottle, “i’ve been thinking. and i thought… y’know, there are a lot of things left i kinda wanna… try out. like yeah, i can give head and fucked a guy, but like… what if i wanna bottom? or try rimming? shower sex with a guy’s probably different than with a chick, right? same with car sex and 69 and uh… and y’know, i’ve never had a boyfriend before, and i honestly can’t think of a guy i’d rather try that out with than you.”
cas’ brain fizzled out about halfway through dean’s speech, but eventually it catches up. he nearly falls out of his seat when he hears dean say the word “boyfriend” but something desperate, some mix of eagerness and relief and joy keeps him steady enough to say:
“i’d like that very much, dean.” and somehow he recovers enough to smile and add, “i’m sure you could use a lot of practice.”
“tons,” dean agrees easily, his grin blinding and making cas feel fuzzy all over again. “you’re gonna have to work with me years before i get it right.”
cas gives an exaggerated sigh. “probably. but as your best friend, i really feel like it’s my duty.”
“absolutely.”
and yes, they totally end up having sex in the bathroom five minutes later.
- fin -
epilogue/bonus scene:
*after years of dating*
dean: cas, thank you for teaching me how to blow, fuck, and give guys mindblowing orgasms.
cas: no problem. it’s not like i haven’t benefited from the process.
dean: and thanks for teaching me how to date a guy. i really appreciate it.
cas, eyes narrowing: … you’re welcome?
dean: it’s just that now i feel like i’m ready to move onto the next step. you’ve taught me everything i need to know about dating a guy, and i was hoping you’d do me a huge favor and help me learn one more thing.
cas: …. uh
dean, getting on one knee and holding up a ring: would you help me learn how to be a good husband to my husband?
cas, with tears in his eyes: you idiot. yes i will.
(it’s called Pretty Panties and the Pool Shark, and it’s a sequel of sorts to A Postcard for Castiel, with autistic!Cas and kiddie cuteness. well, i say sequel… it’s in the same universe if you want to imagine that, but it doesn’t follow directly on~)
