Aha, I see you have accepted the challenge and are about to take the plunge.

You need:

• A comfortable reading position (I will not be held responsible for backache or bad posture)
• Blankets (for warmth and/or shock)
• Food (to prevent starvation)
• A nearby bathroom (do I really need to explain)
• A handy friend or pet (to scream at when you feel emotions)

• Free time.
• I’d recommend somewhere between 2 days and 2 weeks, depending on your reading speed. (Reading the story in any less than 1 day is probable cause to have you exorcised)

If you intend to read while, say, on a train, I recommend you have a very good poker face and some way to hide what you’re reading from nearby people.

daringestdevil adds: You may also want to have a nearby computer keyboard. I found keysmashing to be rather therapeutic, both for the painful feelsy parts and the fluffy ooey gooey parts.

Good luck, brave little solider. /salutes you

Angelhawke ― Dean/Castiel | NC-17 | 418,000 words
_{A Dean/Cas Fantasy-Drama AU, set in a medieval world where two men are separated by a curse: every sunrise and sunset, both are eternally bound to transform into animals. Every night when darkness falls, Dean Winchester becomes a wolf, and his human mind is lost until the dawn. As the sun rises, his lover Castiel becomes a hawk. Their story has been the same for five years - until the day that a young thief named Sam stumbles into their twisted lives. Without even realising it, he becomes a part of their destiny, their paths entwined in prophecy and fate. Together with a few old friends, they set off on a journey to break the curse, but it won’t be easy. To pass the time, Dean and Castiel take turns to recount their past to Sam, narrating the tale of how they met, how they formed their profound bond, and how they found themselves wanting what no man should ever want: the touch of another man. ‘Angelhawke’ is a saga of forbidden love, friendship, and magic - but above all, family. Partially based on the 1985 movie ‘Ladyhawke’.}

(after three tries, this message finally went through and I have permission to publish this publicly, yo)

Ahh, Angelhawke. The Cas-gets-boobs! scene.

Well, I’m glad you asked, because you’re officially the first person to comment on that layer of the scene. When I wrote it I was attempting to do exactly what you say I succeeded in doing, which was to semi-accurately explore body/gender dysphoria from a trans* perspective. I’m glad something rang true with you.

Myself, I’m not trans*, but while I identify as female, I’m probably closer to genderqueer/neutral, and sometimes I feel like… you know what, I’d rather not have boobs, I want a dick, why the heck can’t I just switch.

Cas and Dean are my portals to dealing with things. I don’t deal with anything very well, so writing helps me. I use it to discover my own thoughts and feelings, or as self-therapy. In writing that scene, I realised exactly what I said above, that while I’m comfortable, there’s that underlying panic in me, which I will only feel okay explore in writing, because it’s safer and less scary for me than actually doing anything about it in real life.

Of course, Cas kind of went the other way, he gets boobs and doesn’t like it because he’s comfortable as male.

I dunno. It was a scene that I didn’t really plan, but it just ~flooped~ into existence and I was like, sure, why not.

In essence, I write without understanding things at all when I start, then when I’ve written something I realise I gained an understanding through talking about it with myself. It’s strange. But I’m very glad you identify with what I wrote, because that means I achieved my goal with that scene.

Thank you for the extra love, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy c:

Yep, I wrote both. Thank you!! ^u^

ahhhh, thank you!! <3

You are most welcome, anon. And thank you.

lilicha:

My  favorite  couple

Thank you <3 I hope you enjoy your millionth read-through, and it’s as fun as it was the first time. In fact, I hope you never get bored.

//giggles because Dean talking about boners to Cas is my favourite thing >u< (awkward and flustered!Dean comes a close second, so that scene was a lot of fun)

Alas, if I wrote every scene in all the POVs that I wanted to, that fic would be big enough to crush Hell itself. It’s ridiculous enough as it is, and as much as it pains me (less pain than you’d imagine), I don’t think I’ll write anything in the Angelhawke!verse ever again. If anyone else wanted to write stuff though, that would be a-okay by me c: