I’ve heard the discussion about Han Solo’s famous “Kessel Run” time and time again - both inside the Star Wars community and outside it. Common consensus seems to be that Han Solo’s boast that the Falcon could do the run in 12 parsecs indicates that Solo has no idea what a parsec is, or else relies on the fact that his audience doesn’t know.
This discussion relies on two main facts:
A parsec is a unit of measurement equivalent to roughly 3.26 light-years. This means that a parsec is a unit of distance, not a unit of time.
The Kessel Run is a smuggling route in the Star Wars universe, running illicit spice from the spice mines of Kessel to its destination worlds. It is not a commonly-used trade route, partially because the route is fraught with danger - especially “The Maw” cluster of black holes.
The main mistake people seem to make when discussing this issue is believing that Han is boasting about the Falcon’s speed. This is understandable, because Han often boasts about the Falcon’s speed in other situations, and it is natural to assume that a vehicle owner boasts about the speed of their vehicle because that is what we Earthlings are used to when discussing cars and other machines. As such, they think that Han is purporting that “12 Parsecs” is a quantification of the Falcon’s immense velocity.
This is an incorrect assumption, however. What Han is actually boasting about is the Falcon’s ability to safely navigate the dangerous Kessel Run by the shortest possible route. Travelling at hyperspace is not a simple matter of moving the ship directly from A to B, since there are doubtless hundreds or thousands of intervening planets, stars, asteroids, and other dangers. A ship’s computer must be programmed with a route which avoids such obstacles - usually giving them a wide berth, just to be on the safe side. The computer can also adjust itself en route if an unforeseen hazard presents itself.
Han Solo programs the Falcon’s computer system to fly as close to these hazards - especially the forbidding Maw Cluster - as is possible without being destroyed. Most other pilots would see this behaviour as foolhardy, but Han apparently doesn’t care. Because the Falcon is programmed to fly closer to these obstacles than most other pilots would dare consider, it needs to “steer” far less, and so can traverse the route in a straighter line than any other starship. This means that the Falcon completes the Kessel Run in a shorter distance than other ships - a mere 12 parsecs.
This is backed up in The Force Awakens when Rey, impressed that the ‘hunk of junk’ she’s aboard is the Millennium Falcon, marvels that “This is the ship which ran the Kessel Run in 14 parsecs”. Han corrects her by saying “12″. This therefore implies that 12 parsecs is more impressive than 14 - something which is totally in keeping with the above.
Han isn’t talking out of his arse when he boasts about the Falcon’s record, nor is he demonstrating his lack of understanding of interstellar measurements. He’s just not talking about what many people think he’s talking about, which is their own lack of understanding, not Han’s.
To boldly cut corners no man has cut before.
Solo also mentions that the Falcon can make “.5 past lightspeed”, 0 being a hypothetical number representing “infinite speed”. Most military craft and bulk freighters are rated at 2 and most light freighters are rated at 1. That’s dang fast!
i love the scene in attack of the clones where anakin and padmé have dinner together for like no reason bc
the only food is a single Space Pear
padmé absolutely intends to eat it with a fork and knife
ok so obviously the Space Pear slice that anakin force-floats onto her fork is cgi but they dont swap it out with a piece of real, non-space Pear once its actually on her fork and so she puts what is essentially a lump of bad animation into her mouth and it kind of clips through her face and like this could have all easily been avoided
Real Talk: Dean is in love with Poe Dameron and Castiel is jealous.
This fic contains no spoilers for The Force Awakens.
Dean’s never told anyone about his crush on young Harrison Ford, but he knows that somewhere between the third and eighth screenings of the Indiana Jones series, Castiel must have figured it out. Of course by now it’s more a nostalgia thing than anything else, which Castiel can handle. What he can’t handle is the way Dean actually drops the box of Reece’s Pieces when Poe Dameron first appears on that giant IMAX screen. Even in the dark theater Castiel thinks he can see the flush on Dean’s cheeks as he fumbles for the box once Poe is off screen.
Dean is quiet when they leave the theater. Sure, he talks excitedly with his brother about plot and allusions to the other films, but Castiel knows Dean pretty well by now and he can tell that Dean is glossing over Poe whenever he comes up in their conversation and speculations. To Castiel, that is a dead giveaway that Dean Winchester has a crush.
So Castiel does what any normal, concerned boyfriend would do: he shells out major cash to buy Poe’s jacket for Dean’s Christmas present. He presents the jacket to Dean on the Christmas Eve once they’ve said good night to Sam and retreated to their shared bedroom. Dean’s eyes nearly bug out when he realizes what it is, but just as he’s about to put it on, Castiel takes it back with a smug smirk of his own and pushes Dean down onto the bed.
“The jacket is part of your present,” Castiel patiently informs Dean. The other part, naturally, is that Castiel will be wearing the jacket while he rides Dean tonight.
(Dean is such an excellent boyfriend that he doesn’t say Poe’s name once while they’re fucking, but he does steal the jacket off the floor in the morning to make an early morning milk run before Castiel gets up–it’s winter! it gets cold, ok?–and proceeds to pretend to be piloting an x-wing fighter while driving the impala the whole way into town. He might have dug Sam’s hideous mp3 player jack out of the trunk so he could play the accompanying score, but he’s not admitting to anything. Especially not the missile and laser sounds he may or may not have made himself.)
“What I didn’t realize, back when I was this twenty-five-year-old pinup for geeks in that me myself and iconic metal bikini, was that I had signed an invisible contract to stay looking the exact same way for the next thirty to forty years. Well, clearly I’ve broken that contract. Partly because, in an effort to keep up my disguise as a human being, I had a child at some point. And then, in an effort to stay sane for said child, I took pounds and pounds of medications that have the dual effect of causing water retention (think ocean, not lake) while also creating a craving for salad — chocolate salad. So yes, in answer to your unexpressed question, sanity does turn out to come at a heavy price.”
— Carrie Fisher
I get really protective over Carrie Fisher because nerds will go on and on about how cool and great Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford still are, but they’ll always be like “Carrie Fisher sure didn’t age well huh” and it’s like you know what? fuck you. she aged beautifully. she’s amazing. she’s gorgeous. just because you can’t fantasize about her returning to the gross metal slave bikini doesn’t mean she isn’t exactly as incredible as her old cast mates
also Harrison Ford looks like someone crumpled up a brown paper lunch bag and tried to smooth it out again
what I’m saying is not that I don’t like how Harrison Ford looks
I love his crumpled lunch bag face
what I’m saying is that we have drastically different standards for men and women in terms of ageing well
HEY. Remember that time the entire internet flipped out when the first casting announcement broke, because it was full of white guys and just one woman (Daisy Ridley)? This was a DIRECT RESULT of that. Speaking out DOES make a difference! JUST SO YOU KNOW.
[J. Walter Weatherman voice]
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS SPEAK OUT AGAINST BULLSHIT
