Why remember things like “directions to the nearest post office” when I
can remember things like “Sailor Pluto’s least favourite food”! It’s
eggplant. I also have no idea where the nearest post office is.
ppl w adhd and autism reblog and add what texture is so awful it haunts your dreams its okay if its incredibly specific ill go first: scratching my nails on a car
no one ever talks about the part of adhd where everyone in your class has got their group of friends and you’re just there, mindlessly tagging along with anyone who is willing to put up with you for a few minutes. either you’re too loud or too quiet. if you’re lucky, it won’t affect you much. you’re a loner, so what? but then the moments come around where you find yourself yearning to be like the others. you’re not depressed, why would you be? you’re a child who just happens to be a little different. sure, you’re usually the last choice when it comes to groups and you’re rarely, if ever, invited to birthday parties but… it’s alright. everything is fine. or is it?
for the people questioning whether this really is part of adhd or not
Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam
I’d also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I can’t remember the term because we’ve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever she’s feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because they’re repetitive and easy things to do that ground her
Now that I’m thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesn’t talk and doesn’t eat unless he’s prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because he’s so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things
Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies
Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like we’re five again and sings us songs
Uh…. wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-
your mom is very definitely a witch raising a bunch of fae kids, please tell her i love her in the abstract way one can love a complete stranger.
Dealing with
executive dysfunction and ADHD becomes so much easier when you stop trying to
do things the way you feel like you should
be able to do them (like everyone else) and start finding ways that
actually work for you, no matter how “silly” or “unnecessary”
they seem.
For
years my floor was constantly covered in laundry. Clean laundry got
mixed in with dirty and I had to wash things twice, just making more
work for myself. Now I just have 3 laundry bins: dirty (wash it
later), clean (put it away later), and mystery (figure it out later).
Sure, theoretically I could sort my clothes into dirty or clean as
soon as I take them off and put them away straight
out of the dryer, but
realistically that’s never going to be a sustainable strategy for me.
How
many garbage bins do you need in a bedroom? One? WRONG! The correct
answer is one within arms reach at all times. Which for me is three.
Because am I really going to
get up to blow my nose when I’m hyperfocusing? NO. In
allergy season I even have
an empty kleenex box for “used
tissues I can use again.”
Kinda gross? Yeah. But less gross than a
snowy winter landscape of dusty germs on my
desk.
I
used to be late all the time
because I couldn’t find my house key. But it costs $2.50 and 3
minutes to copy a key, so now there’s one in my backpack, my purse,
my gym bag, my wallet, my desk, and hanging on my door. Problem
solved.
I’m
like a ninja for getting pout the door past reminder notes without noticing. If I really don’t want to forget something, I make a
physical barrier in front of my door. A
sticky note is a lot easier to walk past than a two foot high
cardboard box with my wallet on top of it.
Executive dysfunction is always going to cause challenges, but often half the struggle is trying to cope by pretending not to have executive dysfunction, instead of finding actual solutions.
i left cabinet doors open all my life and couldn’t make myself stop leaving them open until i figured out my subconscious just wants to know where everything is at a glance. i put labels on each cabinet door for what was behind the cabinet and after that i was a lot better at closing them.
showers are hard for me because they involve a lot of steps to get in and out. buying cleaning hand wipes helps me stay a lot cleaner and happier when i’m too tired or distracted to make myself be a normal person– they’re faster and involve way less prep time, decision making, and unpleasant physical sensations.
i have disordered eating because, again, getting food is complicated, much less cooking anything. buying 10-12$ of cliff bars at a go and keeping them in my room by my bed gives me a headstart on breakfast and lets me take my meds on time. otherwise i would lie in bed, not taking my meds because i had to eat, and not eating because i was too tired and nauseous from being hungry to get out of bed.
‘just try harder’ is not a solution. figuring out the actual problem and addressing it is the solution.
’normal’ isn’t the goal. you can’t be normal. it’s too late, but you know what, fuck normal. trying to be normal is going to kill you. ‘functional’ is the goal, and you can be functional. you can kick ass at functional. and that’s a lot better.
When I talk about how there is no universal system for Keeping Your Shit Together, and how it’s more important to find a system that works for you, this is exactly the kind of thing I mean.
My keys hang on the door so I literally can’t leave my apartment without touching them. My socks kept getting everywhere when I kept them with my other clothes, so instead I now keep them in a little hutch in the kitchen, where I keep all my shoes. All my silverware is in jars on my kitchen island so I can see clearly when I am out of forks. When I didn’t want to put on my socks to go running, I bought running shoes that didn’t require socks. There are people who would find all of the above unworkable and/or appalling but they don’t have to live my life and I do.
Find what works for you and work it. Doesn’t matter if it’s weird or unusual or not as healthy as some weird ideal which is probably just a marketing tool anyway. If it works, work it.
’normal’ isn’t the goal. you can’t be normal. it’s too late, but you know what, fuck normal. trying to be normal is going to kill you. ‘functional’ is the goal, and you can be functional. you can kick ass at functional. and that’s a lot better.
Reblogging for this bit. It’s okay to be functional.
Dyscalculia is a learning disability, a lot like dyslexia, but with math and numbers. Everyone knows what dyslexia is, but for some reason, dyscalculia isn’t as well known. I want people to know about this so no more kids are gonna believe uneducated adults who tells them that they’re just lazy and no more kids are going to think they’re just hopeless idiots when they try and try but just can’t understand. It happened to me, and I won’t let it happen to anyone else.
It’s surprisingly common and is often linked to ADHD. If you’ve ever had issues, look it up - you might find things fall into place for you, too.
Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting, sometimes
even at a basic level; for example, estimating the cost of the items in a
shopping basket or balancing a checkbook.
Inconsistent results in addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.
Difficulty with multiplication, subtraction, addition, and division tables, mental arithmetic, etc.
Problems with differentiating between left and right.
A “warped” sense of spatial awareness, or an understanding of
shapes, distance, or volume that seems more like guesswork than actual
comprehension.
Difficulty with time, directions, recalling schedules, sequences of
events. Difficulty keeping track of time. Frequently late or early.
Poor memory (retention & retrieval) of math concepts; may be
able to perform math operations one day, but draw a blank the next. May
be able to do book work but then fails tests.
Difficulty reading musical notation.
Difficulty with choreographed dance steps.
Having particular difficulty mentally estimating the measurement of
an object or distance (e.g., whether something is 3 or 6 meters (10 or
20 feet) away).
When writing, reading and recalling numbers, mistakes may occur in
the areas such as: number additions, substitutions, transpositions,
omissions, and reversals.
Inability to grasp and remember mathematical concepts, rules, formulae, and sequences.
Inability to concentrate on mentally intensive tasks.
I can’t even comprehend what it might be like being a human who doesn’t have all of these characteristics. I don’t know how a brain can possibly just “remember” how to do long division or know what ten feet looks like.
I can’t even accept that a car is more than like nine feet long. Ours is fifteen feet long, and even standing next to it, my brain is POSITIVE it’s small enough to fit in a bathroom.
This is the most me thing I’ve ever read on this site. I can’t read analog clocks I can’t recall number sequences etc.
the annoying thing about adhd is that like, most of the symptoms you can’t even argue are “evolutionary flaws” or “chemical imbalances.” literally it’s just that it’s not good for lining somebody else’s pockets. being “distractible” helps people notice predators or juicy berries out of the corners of their eyes. hyperfocusing on a task until it’s done is literally exactly in line with what an alleged persistence predator would need to do to actually follow through on hunting other animals. there’s so many little things that are obviously beneficial to have outside of a fucking factory assembly line
NEUROLOGICAL DIVERSITY IS AS IMPORTANT TO SURVIVAL AS GENETIC DIVERITY, and OUR CONCEPT OF DISABILITY AND NEURODIVERGENCE IS BUILT ON A FOUNDATION OF OUR OWN MAKING
When I lived out in the woods and spent my time herding sheep and hunting bullfrogs, nobody gave two shits that I walked around barefoot and said whatever popped into my head out loud.
My hyperfocus and poor sense of time made me a hard worker, my compulsion to sort and organize random crap kept the property clean, and my special interest in native flora and fauna meant I could go out into the woods thanksgiving morning and come home with all the pricy mushrooms and herbs we couldn’t normally afford otherwise.
Who cared that I was awkward? There was nobody around except the occasional customer or temp worker, and those kinds of interactions could be entirely scripted.
Who cared that I dressed funny, had frizzy, dry hair, talked flat, and ate raw onions? Who gave two shits that I built forts out of scrap metal and twine? How did it matter that I passed time running in circles over old truck chassis’?
There were no bright lights, no packed-in crowds, no huge collections of shouty, screamy, smelly people. Nobody stared at me for more than a few seconds. Nobody critiqued my body language.
I was a bit odd, yeah, but all I knew was that I was smart and creative and better than other people at fixing problems.
I went damn near fifteen years out there not even suspecting I might be autistic. Nobody even thought to bring it up.
Now I’m in the city, and I have a hard time going into the middle of a store. I hate the mall. My eyes hurt. Ambulances and fire trucks and cars with bad brakes go by and I cover my ears and nobody else does. I’ve been told I come off as “quirky”.
My question is, though, if an atypical person is in an environment that suits them, can anyone tell?
Most folks only know who’s blind when the lights are on. If the sky went dark tomorrow, we’d have no idea.
not to be like anti-neurotypical or whatever but adhd people with hyperfixtations and autistic people with special interests are like, literally the core of any fandom. all those fics and comics and askblogs that update daily with no signs of stopping? those theory and other fandom blogs that post content so often you wonder how much free time they have? listen, it’s amazing what you can get done when it’s literally the only thing you fucking think about. appreciate your local autistic/adhd content creators.
Me, autistic: are u telling me u can’t hear this incredibly loud fridge
The lights have sound
Electronics have sound
Appliances have sound
If electricity runs through it, it has sound.
Rarely is there actual silence (and that does bother me due to lack of sensory input).
This is why the barn uses me when they think the horses are reacting to a noise they can’t hear. I’ll likely find it (it’s usually the heating or the electrical box in the indoor).
I also know when the electric fences are on.
For years I was convinced that I was either hallucinating or had hearing damage, because electronics always made this high-pitched whine that was closer to being felt than heard, and nobody else knew what I was talking about.
Then I met other autistic people.
Wait so I’m not the only one who hears electric currents in things?
Wait wait hold up… so are you telling me that most people DON’T notice the sound of electricity??? That this is… Some kinda weird-ass neurodivergent superpower??? H - HOW do people NOT hear it??? I mean I can kinda purposefully tune it out sometimes if I’m paying attention to something else, but like??? It’s such an omnipresent noise??? You’re telling me Neurotypical people never hear that soft, high-pitched whine, usually accompanied by a slight static-y energy feeling that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster, every time they leave a charger plugged into the wall or turn on that one kind of lamp (usually Florescents)? You’re saying that’s NOT a universal experience? That people DON’T feel the different kinds of electricity, how the pitch changes when it’s being transferred from the outlet to a different kind of device? How warm bulbs make the noise softer, how it almost (almost) completely quiets when plugged into a thirsty battery, that I only have these experiences because of my wackadoodle brain chemistry??? And IF THAT’S THE CASE, then how come my electro-superhearing makes me require subtitles on almost everything I watch???
We traded our verbal processing to hear electricity itself
There’s a reason we frequently test sub- to clinical ranges for various psychosis spectrum Dx’s in inventory personalities. And it’s why that clinical diagnosis has to account for this as being consistent with autism clinical diagnose. Nothing wrong with being schyzophrenic for example, is just we are aren’t schyzophrenic - we’re autistic. And people wonder why autism has such high rates of mis-Dx
I’ve got ADHD and DEFINITELY notice electricity humming through appliances.
Electric fences make noise.
The oven breathes when it’s on
Old tube TVs made a fun little buzz-hum, and the static crackled when I dragged my fingertips a few milimeters from the screen.
When I’m at work I listen to music, because that sound can drown out keyboards from the other room, my computer whirring louder or softer depending on my work, my desk neighbor chewing on seeds, conversations from the meeting room down the hall, the heater kicking on, someone fiddling with the coffee machine, people in the warehouse driving around, plus whatever sounds is coming from outside through the window, dozens of clicks and slides from mice being used, those clicks becoming faster or slower, keyboards clicking, sighs, little grumbles, chairs squeaking, the sound of hair or skin being scratched, the drag of cloth against itself, shoes scuffing on carpet… and so on.
When the brain can’t automagically filter out what is important to notice during background processes, and ignore what is irrelevant before it reaches the forefront of your thoughts as “I noticed this!l EVERYTHING is flagged as important and worthy of being noticed + cataloged.
So with ADHD and autism there’s a lot of brain power being actively used all the time, noticing things, trying to keep those acknowledgements as brief as possible to turn focus back to something productive. Which means adding MORE things like listening to someone talk, or trying to talk back, is way harder to do while also fighting through the simultaneous processing of a thousand sensory inputs that refuse to be ignored.
Music in my ears, familiar, repeating, loud - it drowns out all the ever-changing sounds around me. The sound waves and plastic in my ear physically block me from hearing other things, and since it’s a familiar thing on repeat, i know what comes next, it doesn’t surprise me and drag my attention to it, so I can ignore it and turn that steady ignoring into a background process.
It’s that same logic that makes stimming so attractive and instinctual - hands and mouths and pain take precedence over all other physical input, so wringing hands or chewing on something, or pulling hair forces your brain to focus on THAT, which you control, and forces it to ignore a dozen other low-level but NOTICABLE and IRRITATING stimuli like rough denim or a sock’s seam, or hair itching your neck, or the constant flicker of fluorescent bulbs.
Stimming a way to override how fucking bright and noisy the world is, by tricking your own brain into focusing on something you control.
ADHD is frequently co-morbid with audio processing disorder - we can hear tones and frequencies with our ears just fine, but getting our brain to process a whole language while dealing with all the other distracting shit is hit-or-miss, so you end up hearing English syllables without meaning, and it sounds like the SIMS language.
