#what’s really interesting to me about this #is the way dean doesn’t even look as though #he means what he says #i mean look at him #he smiles #that stupid #pain-filled half-smile #that never means anything #and his eyes glaze over #because he’s telling his best friend that his apology doesn’t mean anything #and in doing this #dean is telling the man he man he loves #the man he needs #about how much it hurts to have to watch cas disappear all the time #so it’s the dean winchester way of being hurt you see? #dean’s way of avoiding chick flick moments by making a joke out of something so serious #and then he gets caught in his own feelings #his own sadness at realizing just how much castiel still needs to learn #and just how much castiel is willing to do #how far he’s willing to go #if what he thinks is the right thing #and to me #i can see dean thinking #’why is staying with me never the right thing?’ (via deanwinchesterprays)