The plot of most historical romance novels in a nutshell:

electrikfeather:

Lady Boobsalot is feeling unfulfilled. Her life seems meaningless now that she is 25 and still has no man. She decides that no matter what, she is going to land herself a man at the next ball that Duchess Brainless throws. Prince Littledick isn’t an ideal match, but when he see’s Lady Boobsalot’s massive bosom, he falls madly in love with her and decides that he must marry her immediately. The Lady, content that she has at least manages to land a Prince, even if he’s not that handsome, or nice, or anything at all really, is all set to marry Littledick, but her plans are thrown into disarray by the return of her dashing childhood love, Sir Virile Manhood. When two men who are equally useless but both offer one form of shallow allure or another are vying for her attention, which shall the Lady choose???

(Hint: She chooses Sir Virile Manhood because he has a bigger penis she loves him.)

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