➤ novel progress:
37,000 words (on temporary hiatus to write fic instead)

➤ goal:
50-60,000 words
⤷ more info here

➤ next fic:

1.
"Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies"
2.
"Boutique du Ballet"
3.
"Dean vs. The Kindergarten"
+++
posting dates unknown

➤ also!
I will be attending DestielCon as a guest!
⤷ more info here

updated 14/04/14 10:53pm NZ

After GISHWHES ended, I’d been using a page on the CW forum as a reference for what number each item was and how many points it was worth. But now that page seems to have gone, so I figured someone else might also need a copy of this. For some reason it isn’t anywhere on the internet any more (that is, accessible by Googling, anyway).

[ see also: 2012 list // 2013 list ]


PHOTO CHALLENGES
1. Someone completely covered in cotton candy. The only part of them that can be showing is their face, which has to have lipstick all over it. (19 points)
2. An arousing photograph of toe cleavage (6 points)
3. A police officer and a leatherjacket clad biker holding hands (12 points)
4. A man or woman balancing 5 red books on their head standing next to a dog (8 points)
5. Photo of an unconventional, but practical, use of Mayonnaise. (9 points)
6. Fossils of 5-foot tall penguins were discovered in Peru. “Scientists” say that these giant penguins are extinct. This, of course, is false. Dress as a penguin and walk the streets of Lima to prove them wrong. (28 points)
7. Photo of someone who has had their nails (finger and toes) painted with roofing tar (not black polish–we can tell the difference). (4 points)
8. The reaction on someone’s face after being on the receiving end of a “Dutch oven.” Interpret however you like. (7 points)
9. 2 full-sized mannequins dressed in clergy attire standing on a busy sidewalk. (25 points)
10. A woman wearing underwear on her head that has GISHWHES written on it. Her eyes must be visible through the leg holes. (9 points)
11. 6 chairs stacked on top of each other on a front lawn. (4 points)
12. Ballroom dance with a partner in formal wear in a port-a-john. (15 points)
13. A wood-fired jacket. (46 points)
14. A laptop made entirely of felt. Image must show the screen and keyboard. (21 points)
15. A man or boy wearing a suit of flowers and leaves. (15 points)
16. A photo of any actor (other than Misha) from the Vampire Diarrheas, Nikkita, Supernatural, or M.A.S.H. wearing a Justin Bieber T-shirt. (33 points)
17. A chandelier made from kale with at least 3 light bulbs that are turned on. (24 points)
18. Display an artifact from the Ottoman Empire in a Pizza Hut in Bulgaria. (17 points)
19. Make a portrait of Shakira from coffee beans. (13 points)
20. Make a travel book salad and make sure the book is sautéed for presentation on the bed of lettuce (8 points)
21. Show up on Indiana Avenue in South Pasadena, California on Wednesday, November 23rd at 10AM, find the right house (it’ll be obvious), and follow instructions. Bring work gloves. (44 points)
22. An authentic email from Jared Padalecki that says, “I am Misha’s bitch.” (52 points)
23. Play croquet on the field in front of the ruins of Tazumal. (18 points)
24. A world-renowned landmark recreated entirely of gummy bears. (31 points)
25. GISHWHES spelled out by at least 12 people (using their bodies as letters), lying down on a grassy lawn. (36 points)
26. A jumpsuit made from beer cozies. (Make it a men’s large. I might ask you to send it to me when we’re done because mine’s threadbare.) (31 points)
27. Limbo was invented in Trinidad and Tobago. Someone competing in the Hunt is from there. Take a photo of someone limboing while wearing a T-shirt that has, “How low can GISHWHES go” printed on it. The photo with the lowest limbo gets an extra 15 points. (12 points)
28. GISHWHES spelled out by 8 police officers holding lettered signs. (Each sign has one letter of G.I.S.H.W.H.E.S.) (18 points)
29. The Lebanese flag made from legos. (14 points)
30. Hold a sign saying GISHWHES CROSSES FIRST on the Oyapock River Bridge. (14 points)
31. A “raft” party for 10 people including radios, coolers of beer, in the middle of the desert – everything must be on something inflatable. (22 points)
32. Three Ingredient Challenge (TIC)–take an interesting photo that involves all three ingredients. TIC#1: puppet, persimmon, Pierre. (9 points)
33. TIC#2: abacus, armadillo, awakening. (10 points)
34. TIC#3: sanity, sousaphone, sassafras. (11 points)
35. TIC#4: blimp, binary, bias. (12 points)
36. TIC#5: glissade, gross, germination. (13 points)
37. Show a man doing a pole dance in Poltava. (13 points)
38. Build a dollhouse out of out of ketupat. The dollhouse must have a bed in it. On the bed, lying on top of one another, a naked Ken and Barbie. (16 points)
39. Purge your closet and get a photo of yourself handing your old clothes to an employee of a homeless shelter or to a homeless person directly. You must be wearing a fake mustache in the photo. (13 points)
40. Float in the water on a raft in front of Trakai Island Castle (38 points)
41. Play a game of hockey using a rupjmaize for a puck. (13 points)
42. Photograph a bust or statue of Nicolae Ceaușescu wearing a sock monkey hat. (14 points)
43. If you are in Oman, stop off and pick frankincense from a tree. Then put it in your nostril and take a picture. The frankincense tree and the frankincense booger must be visible in the photo. (19 points)
44. A woman or man completely wrapped in Christmas lights standing on a roof. (20 points)
45. Paint a librarian’s face with ash from Eyjafjallajokull. (27 points)
46. Get the Grand Duke of Luxemburg to kiss a rubber duck. (66 points)
47. Bring a ladder and attempt to scale a wall of the Zubara Fort. (32 points)
48. Someone squirting Cheez Whiz into someone else’s mouth from at least 40 feet above them. (21 points)
49. A school bus going through a car (or truck) wash. (48 points)
50. Wear 50 pairs of socks at the same time. (29 points)
51. Using a classroom chalkboard, explain quantum cryptography to a kindergarten class in terms they can understand. We must be able to see both the chalkboard and kindergarteners in the photo. (34 points)
52. A five star general, in uniform swinging on a children’s playground swing. (40 points)
53. A map of Europe, where each nation is covered entirely by the petals of its national flower. For example, Germany’s place on the map will be covered entirely in cornflower petals (Germany’s national flower.) (27 points)
54. Take a photo of someone standing 105m below sea level between Puerto San Julian and
Comandante Luis Piedra Buena in the province of Santa Cruz, Argentina. (18 points)
55. Take a photo of someone wearing a wedding dress while floating in the Dead Sea. (29 points)
56. Fly a kite in front of a Taiwanese wind farm. (13 points)
57. Take part in a record-breaking event. (1 point)
58. Think of a scavenger hunt item that should be on the list, then get it. (Extra points awarded based on awesomeness of idea.) (14-88 points)
59. Run a slinky down the grand carpeted staircase at Dolmabahce Palace.
60. Take out a small add in the Croatian daily morning paper, “Jutarnji list” that says, in English, “If you want your life to have meaning, you want GISHWHES in your life.” (31 points)
61. Epinards (spinach) stuck between your dents. (5 points)
62. A woman wearing a dress (and only the dress) made entirely from bacon. (43 points)
63. Show documented proof of someone procuring a loan in Greece. The loan document must be
notarized and must show a date between November 17, 2011 and November 26, 2011. (29 points)
64. Take a live bull to watch a boxing match in Mexico. (70 points)
65. 40 acres and a Yugo. (38 points)
66. It’s 7:00 AM in Barcelona on La Rambla. The smell of cocaine still hangs in the air. Still-drunk youth are stumbling home. The street is littered with bottles, and you are playing your upright baby grand piano on the sidewalk. (55 points)
67. A single photo showing 3 subway maps from your city; one from current year, plus the
previous 2 editions. (11 points)
68. Did you know that 70% of the world’s cork comes from Portugal? Rescue a cat from a cork tree. (17 points)
69. Snowboard in South Korea wearing a sock monkey hat. (21 points)
70. A tow truck towing another tow truck. (28 points)
71. A GISHWHES license plate. (19 points)
72. Smash a Rubik’s Cube to pieces on the steps of St. Stephen’s Basilica. (8 points)
73. Ride a child’s bicycle with training wheels wearing an Eddy Merckx jersey. (9 points)
74. Karate chop the Bruce Lee statue in Hong Kong. (10 points)
75. Dance the cueca with a llama. (16 points)
76. A movie marquis above a movie theater that says, “Minions do it better…” (23 points)
77. A chair that serves as both a chair and a shark killer with instructional manual next to it. (21 points)
78. The real direct phone number of Peewee Herman. (41 points)
79. As you know, chewing gum is illegal in Singapore. But, if you are in a boat in the Port of Singapore, you can do whatever you want. Chew an entire pack of gum at once while on a boat with the Singapore skyline behind you. (12 points)
80. Read a poem from one of the trzej wieszcze to innocent bystanders in front of Renaissance City Hall. (11 points)
81. A toilet plunger covered in real gold leaf. (33 points)
82. A snow globe featuring a winter scene in a tropical setting. (20 points)
83. A personal holding up a sign that says, “DOWN WITH GISHWHES! GISHWHES IS THE 1%” at an Occupy Wall Street encampment or any Occupy encampment or rally. (31 points)
84. A crampon on a coupon on a tampon on a gamelan. (40 points)
85. The Freudian analysis item: a collage on a white board comprised of objects and image cut-outs of how you feel about your parents. (25 points)
86. Powder your wig at Mozart’s birthplace in Salzburg. (12 points)
87. Paint a jeepney jet black and take someone out for ice cream in it. (38 points)
88. A pressed dandelion flower (labeled in Latin of course). (6 points)
89. A photo with a girl who works in a Times Square peep show. (8 points)
90. Photo of an item dispensed from a Japanese vending machine that is neither food nor beverage nor consumer electronics nor a tobacco product. Both the dispensed item and the vending machine must be visible. (13 points)
91. Carve a scale model of the Uragh Stone Circle from potatoes. (17 points)
92. A photo of you or a team member with a garland of rhizomes. (11 points)
93. A prop from an Evangelical Hell House. (19 points)
94. Take a nap in a hammock in a Cachaça distillery.(15 points)
95. A photo of a boy presenting a girl with a bouquet of frikadeller. Like a bouquet of flowers, but instead of flowers, it’s frikadeller. You must improvise the stems. (16 points)
96. A woman with a minimum of shoulder-length hair with a one-inch wide racing stripe shaved down the center of her head from the forehead to the base of her skull. (33 points)
97. A ballerina, 10-years old or younger, standing on point in a tutu reading “Guns and Ammo.” (14 points)
98. TBA (55 points)> Design the GISHWHES flag. Must be digitally created. (15 points for submitting, 100 points if your flag is selected as the official GISHWHES flag). If you win, Jean Louis will contact you for the high res file and then your flag will go down in GISHWHES history and be flown all over the world.
99. You in a sauna eating an ice cream cone – double scoop. (19 points)
100. A photo of someone proudly wearing a Prada handbag at an Occupy rally. (20 points)
101. Someone surfing on a surfboard in the ocean while texting on an iPhone. (38 points)
102. пятнадцать галлонов пресной борщ (29 points) > This says “fifteen gallons of fresh soup”
103. Increase the population of Otira, New Zealand by 5%. Must be infront of a Otira shop or
store.(Hint: just go there with 2 friends) (28 points)
104. A hooters waitress reading a copy of Betty Friedan’s “The Feminine Mystique.” (41 points)
105. A celebrity wearing a fake mustache posing with a cardboard cutout photo of themselves. (53 points)
106. A dog dressed in a beige trench coat, white shirt, grey suit, and blue tie. (37 points)
107. An accurate watercolor painting of the future. With the phrase, “GISHWHES is everywhere” painted somewhere on it. (24 points)
108. Take a photo of either a cruel Canadian or a live passenger pigeon. (19 points)
109. A drawing of the GISHWHES scavenger Hunt reflecting multiple nationalities, locations and items. (30 points)
110. A ship in a bottle in front of Captain Cook’s childhood home. (14 points)
111. What do the lips of a Justin Bieber doll look like under a microscope? (58 points)
112. A garland of cranberries and popcorn fully encircling a police car. (32 points)
113. An image of the text of an Emily Dickenson poem projected on the hull of a navy ship at night. The ship must be at least as big as a destroyer. (60 points)
114. A sculpture of a sea gull. Must be at least 2 feet high. Must be made entirely from (unused) tampons and sanitary napkins. (34 points)
115. A pink feather boa hanging out the window of the engine car of a moving, full-sized steam-powered locomotive. (67 points)
116. A real French politician wearing a Re-Elect George Bush button. (92 points)
117. A photo of two competing lemonade stands. One stand should be manned by young sad-looking children. The other stand should be manned by aggressive adults. The adult stand must prominently display a lower price-point than the children’s stand. (38 points)
118. $1000 worth of unrolled pennies in the front seat of a car. (49 points)
119. A cat eating kale. (22 points)
120. A woman wearing a tube-top made from an authentic Soviet flag. (19 points)
121. Cutting of the goose in Sursee with a sock monkey hat on. (20 points)
122. A family of four happily eating fish-head soup. (Fish heads must be clearly visible in all four bowls.) (23 points)
123. An 80-year-old woman wearing earrings made from human molars. (80 points)
124. A painting/drawing of Misha and the Queen of England as Tarzan and Jane posing in a red chair (she’s in his lap). (12 points)
125. A judge at the bench in a Darth Vader mask. (36 points)
126. If GISHWHES were a microbe what would it be? (20 points)
127. A tea party with at least 50 stuffed animals. (13 points)
128. A photo of part of the solar system with the “Tracy Constellation” outlined. (40 points)
129. An ice sculpture of a bust of Dick Cheney wearing a monkey hat. (29 points)
130. Eight women each holding up one of the letters; G, I, S, H, W, H, E, S, to spell GISHWHES in front of a monument in the capital city of their country. (15 points)
131. A 4’X4’ portrait of the actor Jared Padalecki made from Swedish fish glued to plywood. (36 points)
132. A Volkswagen beetle covered completely in whipped cream with two smiling children standing beside it.
133. An ER doctor in an ER performing an emergency tracheotomy on a tickle-me-Elmo doll. (39 points)
134. A person in a rowboat on the Yangtze wearing an “I love New York” T-shirt. (41 points)
135. A sculpture of the actor Jensen Ackles made only from raisins and glue. (25 points)
136. Action figures/superheroes set up to resemble “The Last Supper.” (18 points)
137. A street sign that looks authentic and reads “N. GISHWHES AVE.” (23 points)
138. An official poster explaining how to humanely remove a spider from a bathtub posted in a military barracks. (25 points)
139. Take a sick balloon animal to the vet. (31 points)
140. A fast food restaurant menu board (you know the thing behind and above the cashiers) with the letters rearranged to read “GISHWHES Combo $3.99” (18 points)
141. The word GISHWHES shaved into a hairy belly, back or back of the head. (23 points)
142. A tent pitched in the middle of the backyard of the White House. (76 points)
143. Decrypt Kryptos Part 4. (37 points)
144. A person in a monkey hat on a couch playing with at least 3 kittens. (8 points)
145. Rate Yelp on Yelp. (14 points)
146. Find the 48th Mersenne prime. (78 points)
147. Show true love. (44 points)
~
VIDEO CHALLENGES (20 seconds or less unless specified otherwise)
148. Someone tapping out in Morse code: “This Hunt has destroyed my family.” (9 points)
149. A church choir singing “eye of the tiger” in a church. (32 points)
150. Perform your favorite dance moves (12 points)
151. Prove that redheads cannot wiggle their ears (0)
152. Wearing business attire, recite a Doctor Suess passage of at least 21 words. (21 points)
153. A functioning gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. (35 points)
154. Someone eating a meatball and mint-chip ice cream sandwich while saying, “mmmmm.
Delicious!” (8 points)
155. Someone calculating the tip at the end of a meal at a restaurant on an authentic antique
comptometer. (41 points)
156. At least 3 elected government officials doing the hokey-pokey in a group. (One additional point awarded for each of up to 20 additional officials.) (17-37 points)
157. Show video footage of Oprah reading a book that you wrote. (79 points)
158. Bring order to chaos. (8 points)
159. A video of cheerleaders doing a cheer for your team number. The cheer must end with “GISHWHES!” (17 points)
160. Write and perform a serenade for an unsuspecting night-shift worker and film the experience. (11 points)
161. Invent a dance move called The Sarkozy and video a man over 60 performing it. At the end of the dance, the man must yell, “Sarkozy!” (5 points)
162. Invent a definition for “asprohedral” and film yourself using it correctly in a conversation with a grocery store checkout clerk. (3 points)
163. Video yourself crossing the road with a live chicken. (15 points)
164. Show an actual Nobel Prize winner telling the joke, “Why did the chicken cross the road? …To get to the other side.” His or her Nobel Prize must be visible. (55 points)
165. Raise the roof. Then, either cut a rug or cut the mustard. (17 points)
166. Make a video of someone who makes ironing a pleated, ruffled, lacy wedding dress look easy. (10 points)
167. Cover a slip ’n slide with dhal (the Indian lentil soup), and then go for a slide. (40 points)
168. As you are all aware, the Georgian military still uses some Soviet-era T-72 tanks. Make a video that shows a T-72 moving, the T-72 stops, the hatch opens and a person pops their head out and says, “When’s lunch?” (80 points)
169. Submit a video of a television screen showing a local television news show that mentions GISHWHES and your team number. This must be an actual news show. (36 points)
170. A one-minute video of an act of kindness. This doesn’t have to be kindness to a stranger, it can be kindness to anyone, but it does have to be unexpected for the recipient. (26-96 point–the more we laugh or cry, the more points we award.)
171. All you need for this video are your lips, a portable sound system, the lyrics to any Abba song, and the flagship IKEA store. Stand in front of the newly rebuilt IKEA flagship store in Oslo and lip sync to Abba. (23 points)
172. A one-minute unedited speed play of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy played by 4 characters with costume changes. We must hear the line “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” And we must see the audience. (26 points)
173. Video of a long line of dominos falling. They must start at the on the sidewalk in front of a McDonalds and end at the counter where you order. The last domino must fall in a pool of ketchup. The camera must follow the falling dominos, and the video must clearly show that we are in a McDonalds. (41 points)
174. Play a game of sepak takraw using a tomato as a ball. (21 points)
175. Make a phone call on a Turkish cell phone on the Greek side of Cyprus (30 points)
176. A man singing karaoke in drag in a monkey hat in any language but English. (11 points)
177. A video no more than one minute long, showing someone consume an entire 16-ounce jar of gefilte fish without vomiting. (18 points)
178. Video of a man skydiving in a pink g-string holding a “FLY GISHWHES” sign. (44 points)
179. A robot preparing a bean and cheese soft taco. (28 points)
180. Pencak Silat between two people on a commuter bus. (18 points) maybe?
181. Ski indoors on real snow. Must be wearing skis. Must slide at least 10 feet. (27 points)
182. Attorneys playing musical chairs. (11 points)
183. A parrot onstage at a comedy club doing improv. (15 points)
184. Someone in a business suit with a briefcase is running very fast in place (without going anywhere) on a crowded business district sidewalk. The runner is yelling, “I’m coming! Hold the door!” (14 points)
185. A one-minute comic short film about a monkey falling in love with a Barbie. Must be a live monkey, not a monkey puppet. (17 points)
186. An original song with rhyming lyrics and guitar accompaniment about GISHWHES. (9 points)
187. Two paramedics dancing the Macarena. (12 points)
188. An old-fashioned, hand-cranked gramophone playing “eye of the tiger” on an LP. (15 points)
189. One person is holding an iPhone; the other is holding an Android. They are engaged in a heated debate about which phone is better. They are speaking in the nearly extinct language of Gottscheerish. (40 points)
190. Prague is famous for its bridges. Wouldn’t the bridges be more famous if you roller-skated over one of them while playing the accordion? (14 points)
191. A video of the scientific explanation of evolution told through interpretive dance. (Any dialogue will disqualify the entry.) (11 points)
192. Video of someone describing the step-by-step process of sausage making in such a way to make sausage sound appetizing. (This may not be possible.) (26 points)
193. A 30-second stop-motion animated short of a Cabbage Patch Doll doing a strip tease. (36 points)
194. A birthday party in a morgue. (24 points)
195. A “Congo train” of at least 6 people with pony tails marching through an airport singing the “My Little Pony” theme song. (19 points)
196. If Saudi Arabia has as much oil as they say, then it should be easy to acquire a 50-gallon barrel of crude. Video people putting a full 50-gallon barrel into the back of an SUV. (26 points)
197. A medieval “joust fight” with participants in medieval costumes, on human crawling horses with horse tails attached, in a library or supermarket aisle. Lances must be over 6 feet long and have apples on the ends. (22 points)
198. Obey a very strange, arcane law. And quickly explain what the law is. The law must be real and must apply in the geographical location in which you are obeying it. (16 points)
199. Video the reaction of an MIT undergrad when you ask them, “MIT is often considered the Harvard of Massachusetts. How does that make you feel?” (7 points)
200. A one-minute instructional video explaining how the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) operates. The instruction must be given by two 5 year olds using props and a graph. (30 points)
201. An extreme close-up of a chin zit being popped while the owner of the pimple whistles Beethoven’s 5th. (20 points)
202. Play “Eye of the Tiger” on a vuvuzela in the bush.
203. Go kiiking wearing a colorful voo. (19 points)
204. A fast-motion (time-lapse) video at a crowded place where at least 5 participants sit cross-legged or in lotus position in absolute stillness while the crowds move around them. They must sit for 2 minutes but the time-lapse video must be no longer than 20 seconds. (19 points)
205. A man or woman dressed as a superhero offering to push people’s shopping carts as they leave a supermarket. They must look as if they are exerting tremendous effort when they push the carts. (20 points)
206. A woman sticking her head out the window of a fire truck making very loud “siren” noises while it drives down a street. The fire engine’s sirens must be off. (19 points)
207. Say, “You can buy happiness.” In 5 languages in 15 seconds inside the UBS headquarters building in Basel, Switzerland. (21 points)
208. An edited video of Misha telling a traditional fairy tale, something like Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs or Jack and the Bean Stalk. You can take a word or phrase from one video clip and join it with a word or phrase from another clip. You will assemble the story from any existing footage and can take anything you want out of context, but the story must be coherent and identifiable. (27 points)
209. At least 5 yoga students on mats in a studio do a real “slap-in-the-face” contest, while in tree pose. (11 points)
210. Get on the main stage at The Teatro Tapia, in San Juan and sing the chorus to livin’ la vida loca. (23 points)
211. Fill hundreds of balloons with helium, tie them to a decorated Christmas tree and watch the tree float away. Tree must be a real pine tree (not faux) and must be at least 5 feet tall. The video must show the tree floating off and should be 40 seconds long. (217 points)
212. A 60-second, well-edited, compellingly shot TV commercial marketing Snake Oil for its palliative properties. Up to an additional 150 points for perfect execution of this item. (79 points)
~
WEB CHALLENGES
213. A U.S. political website that is a group picture of the US Senate and/or House where you roll your mouse over faces in the image and a frame pops up describing any infamy a member has experienced or been accused of. The site should also include a page of images of presidents, vice presidents and presidential candidates drinking alcohol where if you click or roll over the image, a quote of something embarrassing or stupid that they’ve said pops up. You can only use Bush Jr. 1 time but you must use Sarah Palin at least 3 times. You may use any public domain images for this site, you do not need to take the photo yourself. (88 points)
214. Create a website that proves Creationists right. (89 points)
215. Create a website that maps the location and intensity of lies. (40 points)
216. Create a website that proves Creationists wrong. (14 points)
217. Make a functioning iPhone app that helps facilitate scavenger hunts. (120 points)
218. Turn your worst nightmare into a delightful interactive children’s website. (39 points)
219. Create a website that exposes your own hypocrisy. (26 points)
posted 2 years ago » 19 Dec 2011 with 571 notes »
  1. haveafandom reblogged this from almaasi
  2. josie-booger reblogged this from fire-of-fire
  3. fire-of-fire reblogged this from almaasi
  4. detectivejoan reblogged this from almaasi
  5. lovefrombooks7 reblogged this from almaasi
  6. heoune reblogged this from almaasi
  7. gatsby-z reblogged this from almaasi
  8. softwiings reblogged this from almaasi