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updated 20/04/14 11:23am NZ
cas randomly taking photos of things and sending them to dean.
dean, I thought these flowers were nice.
dean look at this bird.
dean, I stepped in something quite unsavory. I was told I should also use lol.
dean. here’s a picture of my hand.
and dean just rolling his eyes but he thinks it’s so cute that cas sends him these things. so he saves them all in a special album on his phone and sometimes when he’s sad or lonely or frustrated he’ll just flip through them and he’ll smile.
until one day cas sends him a picture of something that looks very much a dick.
and dean texts him back….confused, like, cas, was that an accident.
and cas just texts him back and says: LOL, no.
Imagine Sam talking human!Cas through a panic attack and letting Cas nearly break his fingers because Cas is at the dentist's for the first time and the tools, the look of the office, the chair, and even worse, the SOUNDS the tools make reminds him of Naomi and what she did to him.
((Panic attacks- you speak my language, lovey. I am so sorry about how late this is.))
They’re just going for a check up, but Castiel is on edge, literally perched on the edge of the dentist’s chair, staring at the door, vehemently ignoring the set of silver tools set near him. His fingers are curled tightly on his lap. His breathing only gets faster the more time goes on.
"Everything all right, Cas?" Sam asks from the guests chair next to him.
At first, Castiel doesn’t say much. He nods slightly but the moment he goes to talk they hear a drill buzzing in the next room. He jumps off the seat, tries for the door only for Sam step in his way quickly and hold him in place by his hands on Castiel’s shoulders.
"Whoa, Cas, easy-"
"Sam, I can’t- we can’t stay here- I don’t want to be here- we need to leave-"
"Why, what’s wrong?"
The drilling noises get louder coupled with the clang of metal falling and someone yelling. It makes Castiel jump, whip his head to the side with wide, teary eyes. It’s like he’s not even there with Sam. Castiel’s face falls, becomes hopeless and desperate as he allows himself to be pulled in by Sam’s arms; he buries his face in Sam’s chest breathing deeply a few times.
"Is there any way to do this without being in this place?"
"That’s… kinda the whole point of the dentist, Cas. They don’t have any other not creepy offices. What’s goin’ on?" He asks, voice quiet as he rubs a hand up and down Castiel’s back to soothe the tremors away. Castiel pulls away to wipe his face with his palms. Sam takes that opportunity to cup his face. He looks directly into Castiel’s red, puffy eyes. "Hey."
Castiel nods, but the action serves to break him down. His face crumples: lower lip trembling, forehead pinched, tears flowing one after the other down his paling cheeks. Sam draws him close, cards a hand through his hair, secures an arm around his waist while Castiel clutches at his jacket.
"This is what… this is what it looked like. A chair like this. An office. They tortured us. Samandriel. Me. All of us. With tools like this. They took away my memory. Brainwashed us. I-" he weeps openly.
Sam, for a minute, is floored until he decides that Castiel needs to be a place where there aren’t tools of all kinds looming around them. Just as the dentist enters, Sam excuses both of them and takes Castiel to bathroom.
It’s a bright place, relaxing candlelight tones on the wall have a better effect on Castiel. Sam props him against the wall before instructing him to sit down (Castiel slides to the floor). He takes a few deep breaths, on Sam’s orders, forehead to his knees, and afterward Sam hands him a slightly damp paper towel for his face. Castiel dabs at his eyes, blows his nose, all with arms around his stomach like the slightest touch from anything might harm him so Sam kneels in front of him but keeps his distance.
"I… I’m sorry. I don’t know. I didn’t mean to. To freak out like that. I." Castiel rubs his forehead, "I needed to get away- I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move- my stomach hurt and I was afraid- I thought I was going to die, Sam-"
"You had a panic attack. It happens, most of the time when you undergo a traumatic event or experience severe stress, you can be triggered."
Castiel nods. The mere thought of it seems to undo him again. His head is practically between his knees while his arms are crossed over the back of his head, hands clenched, body trembling once more. Sam grabs his hand tentatively, slowly, waits for Castiel to respond and when he does his grip is tight. He unravels, lets himself be spooned into Sam’s arms; Sam thuds to his butt, legs out and open to accommodate Castiel.
"Listen to me. You’re not in that place anymore. Ok? You’re not there, Cas. And they can’t get to you here. They won’t be able to. You’re at a dentist’s office in Michigan now. They won’t hurt you here. I won’t let anything bad happen to you here. Hey- Look at me." He tilts Castiel’s head up by his chin. Castiel’s face is wet, red, blue eyes still terrified but calming the more Sam strokes his back and talks. "It’s going to be ok. She’s going to check your teeth out and clean them. No one’s going anywhere near you with something sharp. And when we’re done, we don’t have to come back for a while. I promise you, Cas."
Castiel’s trembles fade away the more Sam murmurs encouragement in his ear, promises, words of praise. Sam feels him relax, his breathing beginning to pace itself and his hands losing their death grip on Sam. Another five minutes sees them getting up together, Castiel tucked under Sam’s arm as they head back to the dentist’s office.